The last time Zonitics went dark for this long, I started throwing out alternate names for the one-time group blog's sole remaining author, Anonymous Mike. As always, loyal reader Lehigh Decorum out-did all of my suggestions, coming up with "AWOL on us Mike." (My best effort was "He's gone from us Mike.") This time, though, Mike's REALLY been gone a while, leading to the macabre headline up above. Vox has noticed too, albeit in a manner much more charming than mine. (Big surprise; everything she does is more charming than everything I do.)
Now, Zonitics may not be the most widely read Arizona blog, but it does claim, plausibly, to be Arizona's first political blog. This alone is reason enough for it to survive.
A while back, Jonah Goldberg asked readers to name the most Burkean line from the movie "Animal House." (Stick with me here; there's a payoff.) A lot of people, including me, made some pretty lame guesses. But here was the correct answer: "Delta Tau Chi has a long tradition of existence both to its members and the community at large."
What makes this funny is that the Delta Tau Chi president said it to Dean Wormer in an effort to save the house from being kicked off campus. But mere long-term existence is hardly an argument for clemency. UNLESS, of course, you're Edmund Burke, whose Reflections on the Revolution in France is pretty much built on the premise that if something's been around for a while, it can't be all bad, right?
That, of course, brings us back to Zonitics. It has a long tradition of existence, both to its contributors (a group that used to include me) and the community at large. Furthermore, Zonitics is at the center of the most intriguing and closely-held secret in all of Arizona blogdom: the identity of Edward Boyd, the blog's founder.
There used to be only two people who knew that: Edward and I. Now I believe there are four, mainly because I drank too much at a blogger gathering and revealed the secret to a couple of girls I was trying to impress. Neither of them is dating me these days, so I don't think they were very impressed. Also, though, I'd be surprised if they can even remember the name I gave them. (But if they can and if they are reading, spilling the beans would have implications and repercussions the likes of which they cannot begin to fathom. It would make the Aldrich Ames affair look like the "Press Your Luck" scandal. No Whammies indeed.)
So, Zonitics, tell us what you need. A temporary guest worker program? More collaborators? A B-12 shot in the butt? A spa weekend? An intervention over micro-brews? We're here for you, Zonitics. We're here for you.
