The insider

Ever seen this guy? He'll hang around a particular business. Although he doesn't work there, he tries to become part of its culture. He's a "regular," but he's more than that. Part of his sense of self comes from knowing the people who work there, knowing the rhythms of the place, knowing his way around -- and knowing that everyone there knows him. This allows him to achieve--or at least believe he has achieved--a certain status. It also, I believe, helps him feel connected.

You can find the insider at bars and restaurants, mostly.  For example, if you walk into a bar with some friends and start looking around, the insider might take notice. If so, he'll ask you, "Are you looking for someone?" You'll say, "Oh, we're just trying to find an open table."  Then the insider will call over to the bartender and say, "Hey, Steve, is the corner table open?" He knows the bartender by name, and he knows there's a corner table that will accommodate you and your friends. How? He's the insider.

Tonight I encountered the insider at the Blockbuster by my house. He was talking to the staff, commenting on everyone's movie choices, and announcing to anyone who would listen that, while he might be a smart-ass, the manager and staff had come to know that he's a pretty good guy.

When I was next in line, the insider walked up to the counter in front of me, just as my turn came up. He told the clerk, "I need to return this movie. It's a day late, but what the heck -- it's still within the seven-day grace period." The clerk took the movie and said, "Okay, you're fine. You don't owe anything." The insider took offense: "Yeah, I know," he said. "I'm here often enough...you think I don't know Blockbuster policy by now?" The clerk said, "Okay...so...are you going to get a new movie?" The insider said, "I haven't decided yet," and walked over to the new releases.

I'm home now, but I'll bet the insider is still browsing titles, chatting up the staff and patrons, trying to feel as if he belongs somewhere.

It's sad to think about.